Feb 142014

Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day, so I’ve decided to be mushy about my wife on my blog. (If you’re thinking she may prefer flowers and chocolate, don’t worry. I’ve done that too!)


Many of you won’t know Mel. You’re missing out, and here – in no particular order – are 10 reasons why!

1. She loves Jesus

This is the most attractive and wonderful thing about Mel. She has caught a glimpse of who Jesus is, what He’s done, what He means, it’s bowled her over, and she’s willing to commit her whole life to serving Him and joining with His mission for the world. Since I’m trying to walk that same path, that’s pretty special!

2. She has a huge heart

Not medically speaking. That would be cause for concern. Mel cares about people. She really cares, very deeply. I’m convinced her primary spiritual gift is the gift of mercy, which I understand as having God’s heart for people, and especially those who are ignored or marginalised by everyone else. She can’t ignore people who are hurting. Once she knows, she cares. I don’t find that as easy as her, and it inspires me to see it.

3. She makes me better

I wouldn’t be the person I am if it weren’t for Mel. She’s my biggest fan, my strongest supporter, the person who spurs me on more than anyone else. When I am fed up, exhausted, unsure or scared, she leads me forward and takes me further than I could go on my own. She also calls me up when I’m being an idiot. I need that, and I love Mel for doing it. Sometimes I don’t respond well, but please don’t stop!

4. She asks questions

Mel’s faith is not simplistic. She’s not willing to settle for easy answers. Part of the point of this blog is to wrestle with things instead of just accepting them, and it is Mel – more than anything or anyone else – that has made me realise just how important that is. She didn’t grow up in church, so a lot of stuff I can take for granted she questions. The church needs that. I need that.

Mel & Mika5. She is dog-crazy, in a good way

Yeah, she’s pretty obsessed when it comes to dogs. But it is so fun and wonderful to see. I see in her love for dogs such a purity, such an awareness of the job we humans have to care for and love creation around us. It’s also pretty funny to experience on a day-to-day level. She has had some pretty long conversations with both Mika and Ralph in her time.

6. She cares even when it hurts

That heart of hers, it gets broken quite a bit. It would be far easier to see the hurt and pain and just shut off, choose not to care. It would have been easier for God to do that, too. But He didn’t, and nor does Mel. I really admire the depth of care that she will have even when it hurts or makes things hard.

7. She’s really pretty

Seriously, did you see the picture at the top? I’ll save you scrolling, here it is again. Beautiful!!


8. She is so strong

Particularly in the last few years, Mel has been on a journey of battling deeply with depression. There have been some very dark days in that, but she has been so strong and with God’s help and grace is emerging even more strongly from it. I have been blown away by it. At times to her it feels like she is so weak, but beneath it and under it there is a deep strength which I so admire and love. She’s written about some of her experiences as she reflected on last year (see under ‘This too shall pass’), and her strength has already been an inspiration to others in similar situations. I’m so proud.

9. She is a massive nerd

As Mel recently said, “I love video games. I’m a responsible adult, I don’t live in my basement, but I love video games.” I love this! I love it mostly because I, too, am a massive nerd. It’s fun being nerds together.

10. She completes me

Not in an horrendous Hollywood way. But I believe that a husband and wife do complete one another. We have become one, and now I am not complete on my own. My being and Mel’s have been conjoined, my identity subsumed into hers and hers into mine. (She’s written far better about this than I just did) There is a deep spiritual truth there, but I also experience that in real, everyday ways. Without her, I am not whole. I know it and I feel it.

Mel, I love you. Thank you for being my wife, my best friend, my partner for the journey. Also, I’m going to the shops soon – do we need anything? (Marriage is pretty mundane, too.)

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  • mattcantstop

    Great post. Many of these same traits my wife has an they are what make me love her so much. Great tribute, you seem to be a lucky man!