100 posts on. Back to limping.

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This is my 100th post on this blog. I’m quite pleased with that, and I felt I should mark it in some way. While working out what that might be, I reflected a little on what the purpose of the blog is.

The point hasn’t been to build up a regular readership.
The point hasn’t been to get more followers on Twitter.
The point hasn’t been to win an award.
The point hasn’t been to interact with celebrities about what I’m writing.

I don’t think any of those things is bad (in fact each—in their one way—has been a good thing), but they are not the reasons I started this blog a year and a half ago. And they aren’t why I’m keeping going with it.

I want to be a limper

The reason is still that I want to have a holy limp.

If you only started reading this blog recently, you probably won’t have read the first post I wrote, all about what I mean by limping. Basically, I mean having a faith where I’m happy to be uncomfortable. Where what God thinks is more important than what I think. Where I’m willing to submit to Him instead of stridently following myself.

A lot of the world today tells us that if it makes sense for us then it’s right. If something doesn’t work for us, we need to ditch it and find something that works better, that we prefer.

That’s fine if we’re talking about a hair-cut or a pair of shoes. It’s not when we’re talking about beliefs. It’s not when we’re talking about the way we live our lives.

I’m wrong. God never is. I do wrong. God never does.

If I follow everything I want, believe everything I want, then I’ll do a lot wrong, believe a lot wrong. It’d be a lot more comfortable, but a lot less good. All in all, I’d rather limp into truth than stride into falsehood and sin. This blog is one way I try to keep myself honest.

The lure of striding

This isn’t easy. The arrogant, self-important approach to life is very appealing, and is constantly tugging at me, trying to pull me back, tell me I don’t have to limp and I can stride because I’m right, I’m righteous.

Screen Shot 2014-07-19 at 18.24.58It’s a danger when I preach, stood with people listening to what I say. Do I subtly or subliminally start to think it’s my place to decide what’s right and dispense it to others?

It’s a danger being a leader, with people who follow. Do I sometimes think too highly of myself? If I’m the one who—or more often part of a team who—sets vision and leads people in it, do I sometimes think I’m more important?

It’ll be a danger for me as I hopefully begin theological study later this year. Do I think that because I’ve read books and written essays I have a handle on the truth? Do I become unteachable? Do I become strident in my views?

That’s just for me. If I’m honest—at times—the answer to each of those questions is ‘yes’. Striding is easy, attractive, compelling. Striding makes you feel good. Limping doesn’t.

How to limp

Like I said, I can’t say I’ve mastered this. But I have a few questions to keep asking myself. As I embark on this new season in my life (and as I continue with my 101st, 102nd, 103rd posts on this blog), these are some checks. You might find them helpful too.

Do you believe things you find hard because you believe they’re true anyway?

Are there things you do that aren’t natural to you because you think they’re the right thing?

How often do you sincerely challenge your own beliefs?

How do you react when others challenge your beliefs?

When was the last time you changed your mind because you realised you were wrong?

And as I wrote 99 posts ago “the test should be this: If I’ve managed, I will be limping”

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