Some difficult news to start the new year

In the midst of a world of New Year’s Resolutions and and positivity about ‘fresh starts’, I must confess I am a lot less upbeat at the minute.

A year ago I did an end-of-year post on here that looked back over my first year of blogging. This year I’m not going to do that because there’s something else I need to do instead. Those who follow this blog more closely will have noticed I’ve not blogged much at all recently. This post will explain why, and also explain why my third year of blogging will likely be a little different.

It needs to be different because my life is very different. I’ve had the hardest two months of my life, and the next period of my life isn’t going to be easy either.

A little over 6 weeks ago, my wife Mel left me. She had begun an extra-marital relationship and when it came to light she left.

I’m not doing very well.

I have a truly fantastic family, the best friends I could pray for, the most supportive church family, and pastors at that church who have been phenomenal. But I’m still not doing very well. Some days are very dark. Some are not.

I will write another post soon explaining a little more about where I’m at. This blog has become very important to me, and as I journey along an unknown path ahead, I will continue to do so in this online space. Some might question why. I don’t have complicated answers, but here are three simple ones: I find it helpful, it seems others find it helpful that I do, and I believe that at this point in my life God has called me to do this. So I will carry on. Not every post will be about my situation, because the things I was passionate enough about to blog on before still matter to me.

So how I’m feeling will be for another post. For now, I want to make two commitments.

First, I am not going to talk in more detail about what happened. The fourth paragraph of this post is all I will write explaining what happened.

Second, I will not speak negatively about Mel or anyone else involved. If I want to rant and rave (and sometimes I do) I will not do so on here. I will do so in private with people I trust to respond in a good way, and hold me to account for what I’m saying and how. This blog will not become a place of bitterness or hate, because I do not want my heart to become a place of bitterness or hate.

I don’t want to say much more for now, but there are two things I want to say before closing, and the first is this: thank you so so much to the people who have been supporting me the last six weeks. You have made an impossible time possible.

The second: God is good, all the time; all the time, God is good.


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  • Andy Campbell

    Prayers. I have also sent you a DM on Facebook.

  • Colin Bradley

    Dave… we only met once or twice (via Toybox) but I enjoy your blogs. You akways have something interesting to say. I am so sorry to hear your news…. praying for you and the whole situation.

  • David Thompson

    Hi Dave. I want to thank you for being so open on your blog. Can I encourage you with your comment about not wanting bitterness or hate in your heart. You are ‘spot on’ as the only person to be damaged by such resentment Is you. Fill your heart with God’s love. Praying for you.

  • Miriam Benson

    I don’t know you, but my heart aches for you and your situation. I pray that God would guide you through this unspeakably difficult time and bring you to a place of healing. God bless you.

  • Claire

    My prayers are with you Dave. The dignity and grace with which you have approached this post are a credit to you. Keep fighting on.

  • Cameron Stocks

    Hi Dave,

    I’m sorry to hear about your struggles. I started a similar process 9 months ago and it has been incredibly rocky, but also one of the most positive transformative perionds of my life. If you don’t mind, I’d like to recommend 2 books to you. The first is called “Getting Past Your Breakup” which has lots of practical tips and methods. Second is “The Chimp Paradox” which is one of many resources that found helpful in regaining some mental balance.

    Best wishes for the next year

    Cam

  • https://adventuresinfootwashing.wordpress.com David Randall

    Hi Dave

    So sorry to hear. Your friends over at Marlow will be praying for you.

    God bless

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